The PROMISE LAND! My new favorite pics from one of my favorite photographers that just so happens to also be one of my favorite friends. As soon as Greenberg took these photos he called to tell me he found my new vag throb. He just gets me. Yes WWJD? …me, me, please..in the grass under the tree.
Since I chose to spend the prime of my youth plopped in front of the TV soaking in B Movies and cutting up fashion magazines, I never reached my full potential as an athlete - more specifically a track star.
My lazy body never even ran track or played sports. Now reflecting on the state of my career, I think that was a bad decision. My mean guns and killer gams just wasted. You know when a basketball player foolishly ignores his god giving talents to become an awful rapper,
or a rapper becomes an awful actor, or an actor becomes an awful director, a could’ve been Flo Jo is now wasting behind a desk when I should be running in the wind.
I love how the internet is a Choose Your Own Adventure Book, like an AD/HD gnat you bounce from site to link to Google to blog to link to Wikipedia to link and to photo completely forgetting what you were initially looking for in the first place but ultimately finding your new love. I like to call that THE SERENDIPERNETS. Well that’s exactly how I found ANITA PALLENBERG.
Our affair began with a tiny160x120px thumbnail that only caught my attention because a cute little boy was in the photo, after clicking the image I quickly shifted my attention to the yummy mummy on his left. In a matter of 2 clicks I found out the hot mama was Anita Pallenberg, cuz that’s just how the internet works.
So if you don’t already know, she was a model slash actress in the 60s who is credited with dating 3 ROLLING STONES members, but most notably Keith Richards. Keith stole her from Brian and then she’s rumored to have also slept with Mick during a movie they both starred in titled the Performance.
Needless to say I’m crushing, why wouldn’t I, she’s hot, she did the 70s, she did the Stones (most remarkably Keith in his prime when he looked like he had blood running though his veins) ..and still took the time to read stories to her children.
So I fell in love this weekend and her name is MARIE-MADELEINE. She’s a hot little package of all my childhood faves, a little RONALD McDONALD mixed with a bit of PEPE LE PEW and whole lot of WONDER WOMAN.
In my pursuit of all things French I lucked up on the gem of a film MR.FREEDOM, in which my new style-god Marie-Madeleine plays a seductive femme fatale.
I was completely caught of guard by this movie (1) I forgot it was in my Netflix Queue (2) Only added it because I thought SERGE GAINSBOURG starred in it and would be in more than two scenes (3) I was expecting a real political film, not some bat crazy fantasy that should only be viewed in a large field while ingesting stupid amounts of psychedelics.
For me the only shining part of the movie is Marie-Madeleine, and for that I’m so glad it came into my life. Miss Madeleine is a virtual how-to-temptress-guide, teaching the children how to coyly sway on one foot, purr like a French kitten and kill an unsuspecting lover, all while rocking a sequins one piece with a SPARKLY F on the crotch.
As I prepare for my Sunday ritual that has now become TRUE BLOOD, it takes me back to my mom’s undying love of soap operas. When I was young our mommy-daughter time revolved around watching All My Children, Falcon Crest, Dynasty and/or Dallas.
In her college years she was heavy into DARK SHADOWS and has never stopped referencing it. If you don’t know it’s a campy series about vampires, ghosts, werewolves and monsters of that sort..hmmm kind of like True Blood huh.
Further proof I’m turning into my mother. The only bright side is she’s still cute and shops at Urban Outfitters at the age of 58. So Heeyy!
Crazy betches can keep a man, a few men in fact and often all at the same time..and they are typically room mates. I just left my friend and he is still talking about this girl he had a crush on from over two summers ago ( PS he never even hit it or got as much as a kiss) But men like the chase, it incites their primal instincts in our new internet social networking times. I think I’d fair better in the dating game by adopting the crazy eye. So duuh Bette Davis of course pops to mind.
You have to watch Whatever Happened to Baby Jane to perfect the wide-eyed looney toons stare down. Check out the scene with her and the maid. I’m pretty sure Bette Davis was the first to utter the phrase See You Next Tuesday.
She Said She Wants A Man to Always Understand but That’s Alright For Her still It Ain’t Enough For Me
she Said She Wants A Guy to Keep Her Satisfied but That’s Alright For Her but It Ain’t Enough For Me
still, I Don’t Care If He’s Young Or Old (Just Make Him Beautiful) i Just Want Someone I Can Hold On To
i Want Muscles
While on the subject of songs I had no business singing at the age of 4, I give you Diana Ross’s Muscles. Just posting The Pointer Sisters’ Strong Hand, brought this song to memory. Yet another favorite but inappropriate nursery rhyme of my youth. I actually remember liking this song better. And now looking up the lyrics, I think this could’ve been a battle song against The Pointer Sisters. On some Tupac and Biggie. Well we all know who the victor is..um Miss Ross aka the Boss and possible heir to Michael Jackson’s chilreeens!
Definitely not this little girl’s first time on earth, and I’m sure she held all the secrets of the world under that cloche. I wish she was still alive and could give me a clue. (in between drags) She really reminds me of when I was about 4 years old and my parents got a kick out of me switching down the block to get the mail and singing THE POINTER SISTERS – SLOW HAND. I didn’t really know what the song meant then…but I do now! Enjoy the song, it was my Mary had a Little Lamb.
I want a man with a slow hand I want a lover with an easy touch I want somebody who will spend some time Not come and go in a heated rush I want somebody who will understand When it comes to love I want a slow hand
Before a friend or two told me better, I thought “Apres moi le deluge” or “After me is the flood” was all Valentino. It’s my favorite quote in Valentino: The Last Emperor, just one example of the cutting words that fly out of Valentino’s mouth during the documentary.
I saw the film for the first time this winter and again this weekend. It was more powerful the second time around. Just the heart it takes to be in anything for over 45 years, either design, work, love, business, or in this case all of the above is unbelievable. And deserves respect and admiration. I thought about the meaning of love a lot this weekend.
August 1, 2009 what a day! I was able to ride down two complete blocks without crashing into a fence, the curb or an Acura. What’s amazing is my girl Meg came to cheer me on today instead of going to the beach. What’s even more amazing is a stranger stopped to take a look at me stumble on the bike. Shouted to Meg and I “She doesn’t know how to ride a bike??!!” Paused for minute and then decided to hop out of his car and run beside me as I peddled. I took my first strides with him and never knew he wasn’t holding on. He hopped back in his car and went about his business. His name was Tito and I think he was an angel.
I rarely remember my dreams, but this morning I woke up from a strange hostage situation. Similar to what Lafayette went through in True Blood but without chains or hot vampires, mine just had Spaniards with guns. I was able to hide out for most of the dream. But when I was finally face to face with “Javier” I paused on clubbing him with a plank. Not sure what the dream means, but I woke up feeling like a pussy.
So this moring I’m listening to late 50’s protest song Fables of Faubus by Charles Mingus, while I clean my apartment.